1. Don’t clean soot out of fireplace by placing it in a cardboard box in your plastic garbage bin. 2. Strong chemicals only get so much burn residue off of bricks.
3. Fire extinguishers must be “serviced” after being used..unless they are cheap, in which case you must replace them at a special store for $34.00 (or $8.00 if you use the ap
propriate amount of sweet talking to the employee)4. Comcast does not pick up their cable boxes after you cancel your service, but they will charge you if it has not been returned within two weeks of canceling.
5. Speaking of Comcast, you will spend 45+ minutes on hold if you push the number 4 “If you are calling to disconnect your cable service” option. Your fastest route through the intricate maze of phone options is lying.
6. Always have flashlights and candles handy.
7. Wet leaves smell terrible. Don’t pile them up without disposing immediately thereafter.
8. Everyone has a different plan for saving on electricity costs. They are worthless if you can’t turn off lights.
9. Cars get hit. Cars get towed. It’s reality.
10. Mold grows quickly when you have a leaky faucet. Bleach is the answer.
11. Dishwashers are overrated.
12. Harris Teeter is open 24/7.
13. The library is closed on Thursdays.
14. Cockroaches move fast, but not necessarily far. Don’t give up. They’re too big to hide for long.
15. Hide a key.
16. Your cable deal may end, but call them up and they’ll find another one to keep it cheap. Sometimes more channels = less $$
17. Never trust your landlord. Always cover yourself.
18. George Forman Champ Grill = awesome
19. Gym membersh
ips are worth every penny so long as you go.20. Learn to pay bills, it’s good for you.
21. Get a real Christmas tree. It's worth every. single. needle.
22. Always have a back-up plan.
23. Everyone has a different opinion, but that doesn’t mean anyone is right.
24. Bones is the best show ever.
25. Be fair with money and no one has to get petty.
26. Happy hours are overrated. Sunflower seeds on the front steps with a friend is all you need.
27. Eating healthy is expensive.
28. Mattresses are virtually impossible to dispose of without backbone, courage, and a sense of adventure
29. Don't jog through a dog park.
30. Keep your flag flying.
